Rain Forests and Pain Forests

After a day of hiking around Mossman Gorge in the Daintree Rainforest, we have returned to Port Douglas. Here, it is imperative that I perform a feat of strength. For tonight it is the Full Moon.

Alas, finding feats of strength in a tourist town like this is not easy. Of hats, there are plenty. Of delicious breakfasts, there is a limitless choice. Of mighty deeds, however, this town is lacking.

After a not-insignificant hunt, we finally discover Fitness Paradise (which seems to be the only gym in Port Douglas), only to realise is is $14 for a single use. With only an hour until closing time and only one big lift on the agenda, this does not seem like a sensible investment of my rapidly diminishing adventure fund.

I explain this to the owner, complete with an explanation about the Full Moon and the might of the Guild. Being Australian (and therefore lovely), she very kindly agrees to let me use the gym for free, to perform the ancient ritual of lifting the heaviest possible thing.

Quickly, I assess the equipment that is not being used. Realistically, I am limited to the squat rack. Alas, I have no time to warm up and know for a fact I will tear something major if I attempt a feat of squatting strength without letting my body power up beforehand.

Instead, I choose a slightly raised deadlift off the rack and limit the weight to 180kg. It is still risky without a warm-up, but there is no time to spare – the Moon is rising and I must perform the rites of power!

Swiftly, I load the bar and lift. It does not go well. The weight comes as a shock to my cold, tight hamstrings and they panic – sending my weight forwards onto my toes. From here, the pressure shifts from my lower back to my middle back as I drag the weight from the ground and, legs shaking, complete the lift.

As an experiment, I try 200kg. It does not move. The message is clear; “You were lucky this time, Gamester” the Moon mocks me.

We call it an evening with regards to feats of strength and divert our attention instead to feasting on steak and cake, washed down with beer and wine. For today may be the Full Moon, but it is also Alli’s birthday – and she has spent quite enough of it showing me around the rain forest and taking me to perform feasts of strength.

2012 in 12 Pictures

All in all, 2012 was a pretty good year for me. I tried to do at least one kickass thing for every month of the year.  Here is what I managed:

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Info: this year, I completed Tough Guy Winter 2012, won the EWA British Title, bought a motorbike, climbed the three peaks, ran in the Olympic Stadium, quit my job, saw some amazing live music (including Andrew WK, Volbeat, Metallica, Tenacious D and Black Sabbath), swam in Loch Ness, completed two Spartan Races, squatted 160kg and deadlifted 220kg, learned to climb and learned lots of new sports (including jousting, fencing and judo).

It has been a good year.  I need to keep reminding myself of this.

(I realise there are 13 pictures in there; 12 are stuff I’ve done and the last one is something you guys did, by sponsoring me!)

The Top 2% of the Weight Training Population?

I had no relevant pictures, so here is my enormous drinking horn.

Good news! Somehow – don’t ask how – I have been confusing my body weight conversations (from stone to kg) for the last year or so. I can now say with certainty that I am 75kg – not 80kg, as I had feared.

Now that probably sounds like nonsense, whiny bullshit. Who cares how much I weigh, right? Wrong. You see, an increase to 80kg puts me in a higher weight category for just about all the sports I do and enjoy.

So, being 75kg is great news for me. Also, as a result, it turns out I’m somewhere around the “top 1% of the weight training population” for my weight category! (According to this website.)

Life Changing?

I have received a written report following my check-up with a Gold Medalist physician. It turns out he recommends I stop doing everything that makes me who I am, including drinking beer and lifting things.

I response, I went to the gym…and deadlifted the biggest thing I have ever lifted. It weight 210kg, which is only 15kg off my target of 225kg.

Complete: 200kg Deadlift!

At long last, I have deadlifted 200kg!

It’s not the greatest achievement ever, but it’s the next big milestone along my way to attempting to deadlift three times my own body weight (225kg).

You’ll notice a couple of plates underneath the bar; this is because the diameter of the Technogym 20kg plates is ridiculously small compared to Olympic 25kg plates. I have therefore started raising them off the ground slightly, to compensate for the extra range of motion that would otherwise make this lift much harder.

With it raised slightly off the ground and a little chalk on my hands, it went up quite easily really!

Deadlifting: The King of Exercises

 Today, I went deadlifting. “Deadlifting?” you ask, confused and scared. Yes, deadlifting – the KING of exercises for many, many reasons.

Allow me to explain just a few of those reasons.