Another Write Off

You know that feeling when you invest every penny you have in a classic 1978 Datsun 260z, pay thousands reconstructing it over 18 months and then, just as you’ve got it working properly, some coward drives into it whilst it is parked and flees the scene, apparently not realising they’ve hit it so hard that they’ve twisted the chassis and written it off completely? That’s the feeling I’m…feeling, right now.

So that makes it three crashes, two write offs and one theft in the last year or so. My insurance is going to be looking goooooood! Now, if only any of those had been my fault, I might not be some enormously pissed off…

A Horrible Discovery…

Further to my last, light-hearted post about having to abandon my car, I do hope whoever managed to smash into it, pushing it off the road and into this sign has the decency to report it or get in touch. I’m quite pleased though, because I had just had it fixed and was wondering what to spend my thousands of extra pounds on this month…

S’ no(w) Reason To Panic

WOE IS ME. Here is my story for the local newspaper, the Daily Grind

Bloody disgrace, Lisa. A little bit of snow and the whooooole country grinds to a halt! All over Britain,copywriters like this idiot are taking their 35 year old sports cars down frozen country paths and suddenly abandoning them part way because they ‘don’t want to slide any farther off the iced-over road’. Nonsense!

I don’t know what the country is coming to. In Greenland, this would be a lovely summer day! In fact, the lack of snow would probably ruin their deflatable snow tires and their too would slip off the road, but not because their vehicles are suited to their average weather, no no, because this country is a bloody disgrace.

Bloody kids in bloody Africa walk 756 miles through blizzards to get water for their families, only to discover the well is frozen! They wouldn’t make such ignorant mistakes if they had schools, but the bloody African snow has buried all the places of learning! But do they give up? Do they abandon their legs and simply roll home empty handed? No, they get othey get on with it and walk the remaining 4866 miles to the nearest Coke distribution plant, then walk home again. It takes years and solves nothing. But they never say die! (Although most of them do literally die in the effort).

Did you know that, under the sea, it snowed so much in 2004 that we are still finding oysters with tiny snowballs instead of pearls? But were the fish late for work? OF COURSE NOT! THEY ARE SHELLFISH, THEY DON’T HAVE JOBS! But if they did, they would have been on time, because being unprepared for rare situations is something unique to British culture.

If only this copywriter had spent his weekend and beer money on getting otherwise pointless, special apparatus fixed to his already impractical car, he wouldn’t have ended up as a MERE STATISTIC in the growing evidence for how modern Britain is TURNING TO SHIT.

Sexual abuse figures? Lower than.ever. Violent crime? Less than ever. Nonviolent crime? Less than ever. Impact of the organised religions on civilised society? Lower than ever. Racism? Falling. Homophobia? Falling. Sexism? Falling. People being unprepared for snow? SOME OF THEM!

This country, eh? Bloody disgrace.

On the Road Again…Again…

Back in August, I posted this photo of my car, a rare 1977/78 Datsun 260z, which I had just got back on the road. It had just spent 9 weeks in a garage, having £1200 of work done to it, whilst I went through two motorbikes…

Then I got it back and took it DRIVIN’!

Then my starter motor went and it sat motionless for a very long time.

Now, once again, my car is back on the road and MORE ROCKING THAN EVER BEFORE! Watch out world! (Because I can’t see out my steamed up windscreen.)

Running Smoothly…Or Not…

On Monday, I fully intended to go for my next run.

Unfortunately, I found an interesting 1979 Datsun 260z in my home town. Naturally, I had to go and test drive it. Sadly, it left no room for running… It did, however, set a trend for the next few days…